Tales: The Hills (New Beginnings)


To my ghost audience out there, I must let you know that my guilty pleasure is reality television.  While I don’t like all of them, some resonate with me for no logical reason. Like the Hills with its infamous cast of sunbaked white Americans who all lived a somewhat privileged lifestyle. From 2006 to 2010, millions sat back and watched their struggles, which now seem insignificant in comparison to the larger world. The Hills was and still is a guilty pleasure of mine, so at the beginning of the year when I discovered they were coming back, I marked my calendar and pre-ordered the entire show on Amazon.

New Beginnings

The new season starts with a bang, but to be honest; they presented the same old storyline drama from years ago. I guess if it works, then why change it? I am sure they will be lots of drama, parties, drinking, restaurant gatherings, events to attend, and moments to see each of them as parents, professionals, and dare I say, proper adults. The first episode and highlights seemed very predictable as we all know that Spencer and his sister will continue their long-standing beef.  Spencer and Brody along with the other “bro-mates” will get into a few fake tussles here and there. Audrina with her “hill eyes” will continue to crush on Justin Bobby. Justin Bobby will perform the same song and dance of encouraging her affections only to ride off on his Harley with someone else, but just maybe this time their hookup may last long after the Hill New Beginnings is canceled. Spencer and Heide will show us what adoring parents they are, but also reinforce the strangeness of their relationship. Side note, I like Spencer more now as a crystal toting dad! Brody despite being married will continue to be a player and a wild partier. While Whitney will remain sweet and unbothered by the drama around her. Stephanie will be the character who opens umbrellas indoors to cast the widest shade possible.  She is a tea spiller and bone carrier, and to our benefit, we hope she throws the (drama) rock and hides her hand. BUT still there is no Lauren Conrad, I wish she would come back but I understand why she avoided this group.

Why I Watch

I am sure everyone is wondering why I’m I watching a predictable show. The answer is simply that the show has grown on me because for a moment in my early 20s, I looked up to these people. It’s crazy how impressionable we are in youth, but the fact that they seemed to lead such independent lives spoke to me. I am also watching because I would like someone at some point to stop glossing over the Lauren issue. Yes, there is a Lauren issue, and no one is talking, and it feels so unresolved. When will we ever know what happened? The third reason to watch is curiosity about their evolution or lack thereof. The fourth is watching solely to scrutinize their looks; we already know that Heidi changed her face years ago and many of the cast didn’t have nice things to say about it. I want to see who would go on high-definition TV and lie to themselves and their fans about being all natural. In terms of looks, Heidi still looks the same, so kudos to her. Audrina now has a fuller upper lip and gone are the chiclet teeth. Whitney seems natural, but the young luster is gone.  Stephanie, aka Spencer’s sister, appears to have had a nose job and other work, but it looks good. Brody still looks the same except for the extra lines on his forehead, and Spencer looks better now than he did ten years ago. Then there is Mischa Barton who was known for being super skinny, but now she has curved-up.

Yes, I know the show is vapid, and these people aren’t doing anything of great importance, but there is a certain pleasure in watching people like them roll down a dusty unpaved road covered in shade called drama street. It certainly is priceless to watch, but do I think there will be another season of this? No, I think this season is a test to see if the fandom is still there. If there is indeed a chance for season two, they will have to bring the drama hard and give us something that could knock the middle-aged housewives working for Bravo on their asses. While I do love the Hills, I will be surprised but happy to see if MTV squeezes out a second season.