As poorly written as this story is, it’s based on true events, without sugar coating or adding any extra excitement here is what happened to me.

I started having many vivid dreams about my own death, the first one I had in 2013 while in Afghanistan. I fell asleep during the day and during that dream I envisioned myself walking to my office, but was suddenly struck down by a rocket that had landed close to me. I was badly injured that day, but I couldn’t feel it as I laid dying in the dirty. I remember all I could see was the sky over Bagram. I marveled at how blue it was with lace like clouds drifting by. For some reason all I could focus on was how beautiful the sky looked, and why I never took the time to notice it before.  Then in 2017, I had a dream that one night I walked to the top of a building that was more than 12 stores high. I remember that night someone else was with me, and I wearing a beautiful flora silk dress.  Then I had the sudden urge to jump off the building. I climbed to the edge and looked back at the person I was on that building with then jumped. For some reason I felt like someone or something was daring me to do it. I don’t know if it was the inner me or the other person present. I just felt like I had to jump. What was strange about this dream was how vivid it was. As I started falling it was then I realized what I had done. Reality started sinking, as I panicked and waited knowing that there was only a few seconds before I hit the ground. It was then I knew that I would never be the same again. There was total and utter fear in my heart. I saw the ground got closer and closer, I anticipated the pain or lack thereof. I wonder what was on the other side and was for a moment scared to die for the first time in my life. When I was centimeters away I woke up out of the dream worried.  Regardless of how startled I was, I knew those dreams were the best I’ve ever had. I was never worried or scared long after I awoke. These dreams kept me wondering and trying to dig deeper into my mind, trying to understand me. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad; the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had. Realizing one’s own mortality can be a very funny thing.

People who are scared of the unknown might worry about my dreams and proclivity towards dreaming of my death. For now I have gotten comfortable with the idea which makes others think I am strange, and folks of the older generation think its pure evil or a gift.

To be continued…